How to Overcome the Shame: A Transgender Changework Log
(with Deuteronomy 22:5 on Crossdressing in the Bible)

Phone, Online, In Person NLP Changework & HypnoChangework


If you feel shame about crossdressing or wanting to be a woman,

this log will help you.

  • If you’re tired of putting on girly things to masturbate, and then feeling disgusted with yourself after you orgasm…
  • Throwing out all your girly things in self-loathing, only to buy more again later…
  • And repeating this hellish cycle of indulging and purging your girly side…
  • Even if you think God hates you and you fear going to Hell…


Then I can help. Just reading this log will help.


I am blessed in that I can help people, and by doing so, also pay my rent. Sadly, I can’t personally help everyone for free, so I am posting here a Changework log with permission. It’s about helping a young transgender deal with the first of the two “demons” that plague pretty much every transsexual and crossdresser: The shame of not being able to be a real man.

So follow along, think about the questions I ask. Maybe you have the same answers as my client. Maybe they’re different. But whether you consider yourself Christian or not, most people in the Western world grow up with some version of the belief that being queer is bad and sinful. We don’t want to be bad, we want to be good, so we try to be something we’re not. Thus we wage an endless war with ourselves…


Part 1: What do you want?

Taryn: hello
Linda: Hello
Taryn: hows it going?
Linda: Good, and you?
Taryn: alright just happy i’ve got some vacation lol
Linda: 🙂
Linda: So tell me what you want ;;)
Taryn: the world lol
Taryn: i want to be tranced into whatever it is i really am
Linda: and do you believe you are transsexual?
Taryn: not really, dunno, its a tug of war
Linda: do tell
Taryn: wanting to be a woman always turned me on, but everytime i finished dressing up and jacking off i always hated it afterwards, so its hard
Taryn: not sure what my mind really wants
Linda: That’s a completely typical reaction
Linda: After orgasm, you’re not horny, and your guilt takes over?
Taryn: yeah
Linda: What do you feel guilty about?
Taryn: about getting pleasure that way, feel like i let down my parents and everybody
Taryn: since they think its wrong
Taryn: so i usually try to do everything i can to stop myself from doing it again
Linda: So is it more that you fear their judgement, or that you feel shame about having these desires?
Taryn: probably more about the shame
Linda: Okay
Linda: So let me tell you what I know, from doing this same thing for 10 years, okay?
Taryn: ok
Linda: I can hypnotize you in adult sessions
Linda: This will increase your desire to be a girl
Linda: to the point that it overwhelms your shame and fears
Linda: so you’ll actually start acting girly
Linda: but at some point, it will start to become too real
Linda: and you’ll get scared that it’s really happening
Linda: at that point, you’ll get rid of all your girly things
Linda: and run away from the hypnosis
Linda: it’s called a “purge”.
Linda: Have you heard of those?
Taryn: yeah ive done that lol
Linda: Right 😀
Linda: So, after a while, you’ll feel safer…
Linda: and then your desires will start getting stronger again…
Linda: until you give in…
Linda: and start the whole process all over again
Linda: Some people spend their whole life doing this
Taryn: i would rather be one or the other, its the going back and forth that i hate
Linda: Right
Linda: I’m telling you, because this always happens
Taryn: how do you make it stop?
Linda: Your shame and fears are at war with your desires
Linda: Giving your desires bigger guns just makes it a bigger war
Linda: The only way to stop the war is to take care of your fears and shame FIRST.
Linda: At that point, you’ll be able to choose what you want, without the negative emotions getting in the way
Taryn: makes sense
Linda: 🙂
Linda: Now, it’s your money, and you’re the client, so we’ll do whatever you want.
Linda: But I’d suggest we start with Changework to stop that purging cycle 🙂
Taryn: you seem to know a lot more than i do about it so if you think that should be done than probably should
Linda: We can convert your adventure sessions into Changework then
Linda: or at least as many of them as we need
Linda: would you like that?
Taryn: yeah id still like the adventure at some point, sounds cool lol
Linda: Good. Yeah, it’s fun, but you’ll get more out of it if you’re not fighting yourself.


Part 2: Defining the Shame

Linda: So you’re saying shame is the bigger issue?
Taryn: yeah
Linda: Can you tell me what it is you’re ashamed about?
Taryn: i just feel ashamed that i feel like im something i shouldnt be, i was raised to believe this stuff is all wrong, so its hard to know where to start
Linda: So what did your parents teach you about this?
Taryn: that dressing like a woman is wrong, you have to be what you were born
Linda: Dressing like a woman is wrong for whom?
Taryn: for me because i should be a man
Linda: So the rule is for you specifically, not for a type of people?
Taryn: all men should be men who are attracted to women and vice versa
Linda: That’s the rule. Good, thank you.
Linda: And how strongly do you feel that this rule is true, from 0 to 10?
Taryn: 10
Taryn: i mean i wouldnt of been born if it wasnt true lol
Linda: So breaking this rule means that the human race would end?
Taryn: not really
Linda: No?
Taryn: well i mean unless all men switched
Linda: Right
Linda: So all men should be men who are attracted to women… because if all men are not… then what ?
Linda: What is the consequence of breaking this rule?
Taryn: lol im not sure
Taryn: besides the going to hell thing
Linda: Okay, so you go to hell if… what?
Taryn: if you look at another man with lust
Linda: Okay…
Linda: So you mean: If a man looks at another man with lust, he will go to hell when he dies
Linda: yes?
Taryn: yes
Linda: How strongly do you believe this from 0 to 10?
Taryn: 10
Linda: Well, I don’t want you to go to hell, so certainly I wouldn’t encourage that
Linda: What is your religion by the way?
Taryn: christianity
Linda: Which kind?
Taryn: baptist
Linda: Okay, that makes sense
Linda: and how religious are you?
Taryn: probably from 0 to 10 an 8
Linda: so you go to church every Sunday?
Taryn: no
Linda: Okay… how often then?
Taryn: havent been there for about a year
Linda: but before, you did?
Taryn: yeah once in awhile but i never really went every sunday
Linda: Okay. How important is going to church ?
Taryn: its important but not crucial
Linda: I am not clear what a Baptist is supposed to do to avoid going to hell. Could you enlighten me?
Taryn: to repent and turn from your sins and trust in Jesus
Linda: And how strongly do you believe this?
Taryn: very strongly
Linda: 10?
Taryn: yeah
Linda: By the way, how comfortable are you at this point with our discussion?
Taryn: im alright
Linda: Okay, I believe I’m being respectful of your beliefs 🙂
Taryn: yeah its no problem i dont get offended easily lol
Linda: Cool
Linda: So men lusting after men is a mortal sin?
Taryn: yeah
Linda: and men dressing as women, is that a mortal sin too?
Taryn: i guess not specifically


Part 3: Deuteronomy 22:5

Linda: Are you familiar with Deuteronomy?
Taryn: yeah a little
Linda: That’s the section that deals with crossdressing
Linda: Deuteronomy 22.5
Taryn: right ok
Linda: I do my research 😀
Taryn: lol awesome
Linda: do you believe the bible is literally true?
Taryn: yeah
Linda: So ALL the rules of the bible apply to you?
Taryn: not all of them such as old testament mosiac law for israel
Linda: Well, do you have to follow the rules of Deuteronomy from the Old Testament ?
Taryn: yeah since they aren’t the laws for the actual government
Linda: Ah, okay…
Linda: Deuteronomy has a long list of prohibitions. Do you follow them all?
Taryn: no its impossible
Linda: It is ?
Taryn: yeah theres no way to be perfect
Linda: Well, they all seem to be important
Taryn: yeah
Linda: And they’re all supposed to be abominations, said to be punished by madness, eating your own children, boils, being eaten by wild animals, etc.
Taryn: i dont remember the eating of children part lol
Linda: It’s pretty gruesome 🙂
Taryn: i can imagine
Linda: Say, what is what you’re wearing right now made of?
Taryn: cotton i guess
Linda: No polyester cotton blends I hope?
Taryn: im sure there are
Linda: You’ve worn those?
Taryn: probably yeah
Linda: Ah then, it’s too late for you then
Linda: Deuteronomy 22:11 forbids wearing a mix of fibers
Taryn: thats crazy lol
Linda: Wearing poly cotton blends are also an abomination unto the Lord
Linda: Punishable by insanity, boils, eating your own children, etc.
Taryn: yeah thats weird
Linda: Perhaps, but that’s the rules
Linda: Also, if you rape a virgin, you have to be sure to pay her father 50 shekels of silver in compensation.
Linda: That’s Deuteronomy 22:29
Taryn: wow
Linda: But only if you get caught
Linda: Otherwise, you’re okay with just raping her
Linda: Personally, I was under the impression that these rules didn’t apply, because Jesus made a New Law, the Law of Love.
Linda: But I might be mistaken
Linda: what do you think?
Taryn: yeah but it still talks about homosexuality being wrong in the new testament
Linda: Okay
Linda: So just to be clear…
Linda: Do you have to follow the rules of Deuteronomy about clothing?
Taryn: i guess not
Linda: Okay 🙂
Linda: So would it be possible to go to heaven then, if you dressed and lived as a woman, as long as you didn’t lust after men?
Taryn: yeah i guess so
Linda: Okay 🙂


Part 4: The New Testament To The Rescue!

Linda: How do you feel about crossdressing at this point then?
Taryn: seems to be a little better
Linda: So about how uncomfortable are you with your desire to dress as a woman now, from 0 to 10?
Taryn: 4
Linda: Good. And where was it at before?
Taryn: like a 10
Linda: Okay, so we’re making some progress, yes?
Taryn: lol yeah
Linda: Cool 😀
Linda: We’ve determined that what you must follow as a Christian is the rules of the New Testament
Linda: That simplifies things a lot 🙂
Taryn: right
Linda: Now, one thing I’m wondering though…
Linda: you said you have to be what you were born
Taryn: yeah
Linda: How strongly do you believe that?
Taryn: 10
Linda: I also TOTALLY believe that
Linda: Just as strongly as you do
Taryn: lol thats good


Part 5: Blessed Be The Intersexed

Linda: What I’m unclear of though is the categories
Linda: Do you know about intersex conditions?
Taryn: not really
Linda: Okay, so here’s one example…
Linda: Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome
Linda: it means that the person is born genetically male, with an X and a Y chromosome
Linda: (women are X X and men are X Y)
Linda: However, their body does not react at all to testosterone, the male hormone
Linda: So even as a foetus, they don’t grow a penis, they grow a vagina
Taryn: ok
Linda: Because in the womb, EVERYONE is a girl
Linda: Everyone
Linda: Female is the basic human template
Linda: Testosterone changes things, so the clitoris gets longer and turns into a penis.
Linda: and it makes the vagina close
Linda: and it makes the gonads go down into a little bag of skin.
Linda: In fact, testes and ovaries are the same structure
Linda: if they stay up in the body, they become ovaries. If they go down, they become testes
Linda: isn’t that fascinating?
Taryn: yeah thats pretty cool
Linda: Well, if you have AIS, your body doesn’t react to testosterone…
Linda: so you develop as a woman.
Linda: You look like a woman, grow up as a woman, and everyone thinks you’re a woman.
Linda: but genetically, you’re male.
Taryn: weird
Linda: indeed!
Linda: Now, I totally believe you have to be what you were born
Linda: But is this a man or a woman?
Taryn: thats the question
Linda: This person could take big shots of testosterone every day for 10 years, and they still wouldn’t become any more masculine
Linda: Should they dress as a man anyway, because genetic tests say they’re male?
Linda: even though they don’t have a penis
Taryn: i guess not
Linda: Okay, so genetic sex is not the most important part of who a person is?
Taryn: nope
Linda: Cool
Linda: What about bilateral hermaphrodites who have both sets of genitals?
Taryn: i guess they could be whatever they wanted
Linda: That makes sense
Linda: 🙂
Linda: All this is just genetic variation…
Linda: like people having different eye and hair colors
Linda: There is such awe-inspiriing diversity in God’s creation 🙂


Part 6: Who Are You?

Taryn: right but how do i know what i am?
Linda: Good question!
Linda: Well, you see, there are different parts to a gender…
Linda: and it’s not clear which one is the most important determinant
Linda: I’m just going to list them
Linda: Because sometimes things go weird during pregnancy
Linda: We’re not sure why.
Linda: It may be genetics…
Linda: or it may be what the mother is eating, medicines she’s taking, or simply all the pesticides in the food
Linda: But there are a few crucial points
Linda: One is whether there’s enough testosterone at the beginning to make the clitoris turn into a penis
Linda: Then there’s another point in the pregnancy where brain sex gets determined
Taryn: sounds like its all way over my understanding lol
Linda: You know, some men are more gentle and feminine, some women are more aggressivre and masculine?
Taryn: yeah
Linda: They can be totally straight, but still be more like the other sex
Linda: that’s brain sex
Taryn: ok
Linda: So a man with a female brain sex might want to be a teacher and take care of kids, more than go hunting
Linda: but they’d otherwise be normal men
Taryn: right
Linda: Next, there’s a period during pregnancy where gender gets set, depending on what the hormone balance of the mother and foetus are.
Linda: Gender is what you think you are, in your head. It tells you if you feel you are a boy or a girl.
Linda: Sometimes it’s in between, and you don’t really feel more like a girl or boy, but you’ll probably just go along with your birth sex
Taryn: yeah
Linda: Cool. Next, there’s a period where sexual preference gets set
Linda: So either you’d get the sexual preference of a woman, or a man, or something in between, again depending on the mix of hormones at that point of the pregnancy
Taryn: oh ok
Linda: If you’ve got male genetics (XY), and a male brain, and a male gender, and then things go weird and you get the female sexual preference…
Linda: then you’d be a normal masculine male, but only be attracted to men
Taryn: ok
Linda: Typically, it all goes one way or the other…
Linda: but it seems that about 10% of the time, the sexual preference gets reversed for some reason.
Linda: Even more rarely, the gender gets reversed
Linda: As for brain sex, it’s not at all uncommon to get it reversed, it just produces sensitive guys and “go getter” women.
Linda: These are all intersex conditions.
Linda: Though few of them get diagnosed
Taryn: yeah it must be hard


Part 7: The Messengers

Linda: So, if you have to be what you were born…
Linda: which one should we use to determine “what” you are?”
Taryn: it would have to be something in the brain
Linda: Genetic sex, physical sex, brain sex, gender, or sexual preference?
Linda: Most people don’t have to wonder about that, so they don’t.
Linda: But those who have variance have to make some decision
Linda: What do you think?
Taryn: its a good question
Linda: If only your sexual preference is set to the other side… you’d be gay
Taryn: right
Taryn: its gotta be brain sex
Linda: Personally, I don’t see why God would allow people to be born that way, and then condemn them to hell for it
Taryn: yeah
Linda: There’s what God wants…
Linda: and then there’s the messengers of God telling us what He wants
Linda: I think Jesus was a very very good messenger
Linda: Sadly, nobody wrote down what he said while he was alive
Linda: it was all written down long after his death
Taryn: yeah
Linda: So I’d imagine that what’s written is at least mostly what Jesus said, and thus mostly what God wants
Linda: The other writers, who wrote down rules of conduct, were not perfect messengers in my opinion
Taryn: yeah
Linda: Like Paul, who never even met Jesus.
Linda: I don’t think he had such a direct connection to God
Linda: So him saying that women should be subservient to men…
Linda: I think is more a cultural thing than the word of God
Linda: But that’s just me
Taryn: yeah you are probably right
Linda: Jesus never said anything about gays, as far as I know
Linda: He said we’re all children of God, and the only law is to love one another and treat others as we’d like to be treated
Linda: The rest is kinda more rules of thumb, and common sense
Linda: Killing, lying, etc. are bad 🙂
Taryn: right lol


Part 8: It’s About Choices

Linda: So do you think God makes humans that are inherently sinful, and who go to hell simply by being themselves?
Taryn: that was a choice we made
Linda: What was?
Taryn: to be sinful
Linda: Okay, so what you’re saying is…
Linda: it has to be a choice, otherwise it isn’t sinful?
Taryn: yeah
Linda: Okay…
Linda: So if sexual preference is set before birth…
Linda: then is it a sin?
Taryn: i guess not because it isnt a choice
Linda: Right, that’s what I think too
Linda: You have to be what you are
Linda: if you’re born gay, that’s what you are
Linda: right?
Taryn: yeah i guess so
Linda: I’m not talking about actually having sex right now
Linda: I’m just saying, you’re born this way, and you look at people of your own sex, and feel lust
Linda: Who we lust after isn’t something we can control
Taryn: i guess not


Part 9: Lust and Gender

Linda: Do you ever lust after women?
Taryn: yes
Linda: So you get turned on thinking about sexy women, really?
Taryn: yeah i do
Linda: ok 🙂
Linda: And do you get turned on thinking about men too?
Taryn: i never used too until i started looking into the hypno stuff and gradually i have a little
Linda: or is it only when you imagine yourself as a woman that you get turned on by men?
Taryn: yeah thats it
Linda: Okay
Linda: Now, did you want to be a girl before all the hypno stuff?
Taryn: yeah but not as much
Linda: Did it ever feel wrong to be in a male body?
Taryn: not really
Linda: Did you feel that it would have been better if you were born a girl?
Taryn: yeah
Linda: How long have you felt this way?
Taryn: probably 5 or 10 years
Linda: So since puberty…
Taryn: yeah
Linda: it’s not so much that being male is wrong, but being female would be more “right” ?
Taryn: yeah
Linda: What we’re looking at here is gender…
Linda: what you feel you are
Linda: like, in your head
Linda: do you feel you’re more girl than boy?
Taryn: yeah sometimes i do
Linda: Have you had sex?
Taryn: no
Linda: Okay, and when you imagine having sex….
Linda: do you often end up imagining you’re in the girl position?
Taryn: yeah i do
Linda: Is that what almost always happens?
Taryn: yeah nowadays
Linda: So I imagine you tried it the other way before…
Linda: how did it feel imagining having sex, but as the man?
Taryn: it was ok just not as exciting
Linda: so what you’re saying is…
Linda: you could have sex as a man with a woman…
Linda: but it’s not very exciting for you
Taryn: yeah
Linda: but you discovered that if you imagine you’re the girl, then you’re very excited?
Taryn: yes
Linda: that must’ve been a shock when you realized that
Taryn: it kinda happened slowly though
Taryn: so it wasnt really shocking
Linda: how did it happen?
Taryn: id always imagine having sex with women once in awhile the other way around
Taryn: slowly but surely it kinda changed
Linda: changed how?
Taryn: that i wanted to be the female in the role
Linda: How did that feel?
Taryn: exciting being held like that
Taryn: imagining that a man used me like that
Linda: Okay 🙂
Linda: Do you think women fantasize about being with men that way too?
Taryn: dunno
Linda: Basically, you’re saying having a man take control and treat you as a woman feels more right and more exciting?
Taryn: yeah
Linda: So here’s what I’m hearing from you…
Linda: when you started having sexual thoughts, you started by fantasizing the way you thought every guy was supposed to fantasize
Taryn: yeah
Linda: and that felt kind of okay, and kind of exciting
Linda: but at some point, you were having the same kind of fantasy… but you found yourself imagining it from the woman’s point of view, and it felt a lot more right and a lot more exciting?
Taryn: yes
Linda: What it sounds like is this: you could pretend to be male in your fantasies, because you’d never imagined there was any other option, but without any external influence, you shifted to seeing it as a woman, and it felt more true.
Taryn: yes thats it
Linda: It sounds like the normal reaction of someone with a female gender in a male body.
Taryn: ok
Linda: Does that make sense?
Taryn: yeah it does


Part 10: A Female Spirit

Linda: I mean, imagine you had the power to tweak people before birth…
Linda: and you made someone with a female spirit go into a male body…
Linda: is this what you’d expect would happen in that case?
Taryn: pretty much
Linda: Pretty much
Linda: Tell me, have you done sports and other typically masculine hobbies to try to prove to yourself that you’re a man?
Taryn: yeah
Linda: If a female spirit in a male body was told that she had to be a man, otherwise she’d go to hell…
Linda: she’d probably try very very hard to be a man…
Linda: and do very masculine things…
Linda: even if she was more interested in feminine things
Linda: wouldn’t she?
Taryn: yeah
Linda: If you didn’t have to prove your manhood all the times… would you kinda like to do more feminine hobbies?
Taryn: yeah
Linda: Like what?
Taryn: id love shopping, working with makeup, and id love drama/romance stuff
Linda: I mean, let’s pretend you were born a girl… what hobbies would you like to have?
Taryn: dunno ive held it back so long i never really thought about what i would enjoy a lot
Linda: Just for pretend
Taryn: if i was born a girl id love hanging out with my friends, watching romantic movies, id like to be able to show my feelings, id love shopping, reading, not sure what else
Linda: Okay
Linda: And this is what a female spirit born in a male body would want too, isn’t it?
Taryn: yeah
Linda: But she wouldn’t do those, because she was told she’d go to hell…
Taryn: yeah
Linda: and do you think that girls tend to follow the expectations of their parents more than boys, and be what their parents want them to be?
Taryn: not sure
Taryn: my parents expectations were high for both me and my sister
Linda: Are boys or girls more likely to rebel against the wishes of their parents?
Taryn: girls?
Linda: You think so?
Linda: I mean, women are supposed to obey their parents, their husband, etc. and men are supposed to be strong, decisive and independant
Taryn: i guess boys then
Linda: This female spirit wouldn’t want to dissapoint her family, so she’d try extra hard to be a boy, wouldn’t she?
Taryn: yeah
Taryn: i always try not to dissapoint my family
Linda: That’s a more typically feminine attitude
Linda: So in this case… what would be the true self of this female spirit with a male body?
Taryn: the true self would be female
Linda: The true self is the spirit
Linda: And if the spirit is female, then I’d say that person is female
Linda: or at least a woman
Linda: Now, you believe that boys should follow boy rules of behavior…
Linda: and girls should follow girl rules of behavior
Taryn: absolutely
Linda: Absolutely


Part 11: Coming to Conclusions

Linda: And we’ve agreed that in this case, someone with a female spirit is actually a girl
Linda: even if she has a male body
Linda: So what rules of behavior should this female spirit follow then?
Taryn: girl rules of behavior
Linda: Right
Linda: because you have to be what you are
Linda: so if you are a girl, you need to follow girl rules
Linda: In fact, if a female spirit in a male body were to follow boy rules…
Linda: wouldn’t that then be a sin?
Taryn: yeah it would be going against nature
Linda: It would be going against her God given nature
Linda: God gives us many challenges in life, hoping we’ll do the right thing
Taryn: yeah
Linda: This one is particularly tricky
Linda: But from what I can tell…
Linda: your brain’s gender and your spirit are female
Linda: your sexual preference is that of a heterosexual female (who can pretend to be male but has a hard time with it)
Linda: Your brain sex is probably female too, based on your choice of hobbies
Linda: I don’t know about your genetics, and we know your physical sex is male
Taryn: yeah
Linda: So is your true self a boy or a girl?
Taryn: a girl
Linda: And what rules of behavior would God expect of you then?
Taryn: that of a girl
Linda: So how much discomfort do you feel now about dressing as a girl, from 0 to 10?
Taryn: 3
Linda: Is that because of what people would think, or what you think of yourself?
Taryn: what people would think
Linda: Good
Linda: Fear of people’s reaction is a completely separate thing
Linda: We can deal with that later
Linda: but about the shame…
Taryn: ok
Linda: how much of that is left?
Taryn: 0
Linda: Good 🙂
Linda: How do you feel dear?
Taryn: pretty good
Linda: The internal war… has it pretty much stopped?
Taryn: pretty much at peace
Linda: I bet you haven’t felt that in a long time
Taryn: loooong time
Linda: Isn’t this awesome? 🙂
Taryn: lol yeah


Part 12: Future Pacing

Linda: Now I’d like you to imagine yourself tomorrow, thinking about being a girl…
Linda: how does that feel?
Taryn: it feels right
Linda: It feels right
Linda: Now imagine a month from now…
Linda: thinking about being a girl…
Linda: What do you feel?
Taryn: totally normal
Linda: Totally normal 🙂
Linda: And a year from now,…
Linda: Imagine thinking about being a girl…
Taryn: a year from now i will completely comfortable with fact as it had been from birth
Linda: Right!
Linda: And imagine yourself 10 years from now…
Taryn: still 100% normal and at peace with it
Linda: And how do you imagine yourself living 10 years from now?
Taryn: as a woman
Linda: As a woman
Linda: As simple as that
Linda: because it’s your true self
Taryn: right
Linda: I am incredibly proud of you 🙂
Taryn: ty it hasnt been easy
Linda: No it hasn’t
Linda: This is a really tricky situation to be in…
Linda: and you’ve done amazing work on yourself today
Linda: Congratulations 🙂
Taryn: yay ty
Linda: 😀
Linda: I’m very happy for you
Taryn: i still feel so much like a man i hate it
Linda: I hear ya hun
Linda: We’ve done two hours today, and I think we should stop and let you digest all of that
Taryn: alright


Part 13: The Two Demons

Linda: Everyone in your situation has two demons to battle
Linda: One is Shame, the one that lies to you and tells you to be something you’re not
Linda: I think we have that particular demon pretty well squished 😉
Taryn: yeah i feel a lot better about it
Linda: If it ever rears its ugly head again…
Linda: I suggest using a stiletto heel to squish it…
Linda: it hurts it more, ha ha!
Taryn: lol yeah i bet it would
Linda: The other demon is Fear, of what people will think, of rejection, of the unknown…
Taryn: yeah
Linda: It takes a lot of courage to be true to youself, and having the wrong body just makes it that much trickier…
Linda: but on the other hand, if you can do that, you can do anything you set your mind to. 🙂
Taryn: lol yeah it sucks to be in this position
Linda: Totally
Linda: But, people who go through it have a unique understanding of the world, which lets them help others
Taryn: glad you were here to help
Linda: I’m glad I was too 🙂
Linda: You wouldn’t believe how many 55 year olds I get…
Taryn: lol a lot?
Linda: who come to me when they realize they’ve done everything the world expected of them… and that their life was a lie
Linda: Yes, a lot.
Linda: They got married, raised their kids, the kids have gone away, and they’re left looking at their life
Linda: and finding that they’re missed out on being themselves.
Taryn: thats terrible
Linda: It’s very sad
Linda: But doing it at 55 is better than not doing it at all
Taryn: yeah
Linda: It was much harder from them when they were young, there wasn’t the internet to tell them there were others like them
Taryn: true
Linda: But every person who gathers up the courage to live their life with integrity and honesty helps everyone around them…
Linda: It makes the world a little bit better, one person at a time
Linda: Suffering gives us empathy, and from understanding their pain, the desire to help.
Taryn: yes
Linda: I think that’s a big part of what being a good Christian is about


Part 14: Pay it Forward

Linda: And on that note, I’d like to ask for your help
Taryn: alright
Linda: If you give me permission, I can post this log on my website, so others can get a bit of what you got, even if they can’t afford sessions.
Taryn: yeah thats fine
Linda: Thank you 😡
Taryn: that would be cool
Linda: So your own suffering and struggles will already be helping others who are in your situation
Linda: It will be a Christmas gift from both of us 🙂
Taryn: definitly
Taryn: sweet
Linda: Very cool. I give thanks to my own higher power for your coming here so we could do that. 🙂
Taryn: im sure it will help a lot of people
Linda: I hope so
Linda: Since this will be in the log, is there anything you would like to tell the readers who are struggling with this ?
Taryn: That there is hope and that you don’t have to feel bad about who you truly are, just embrace it, and love it
Linda: My Christmas wish is that all the Ugly Ducklings of the world get some version of that message you gave, and start believing in themselves.
Taryn: same here
Linda: Cool
Linda: What name would you like to have in this log? I can easily replace the nickname on all your lines.
Taryn: hmm Taryn is fine
Linda: Will do, glad to finally meet you Taryn 🙂
Taryn: nice to meet you too Linda!
Linda: 😀
Linda: So would you like to set a date to tackle the second challenge?
Taryn: whenever is good for you next week
Taryn: i can make time
Linda: How about December 30th, 1pm EST ?
Taryn: sounds good to me
Linda: Excellent! I’ll see you then!
Taryn: thanks again i really appreciate it
Linda: Anything else you’d like to say or ask before I go?
Linda: You’re very very welcome Taryn ;;)
Taryn: have an excellent day
Linda: And have a wonderful day and happy holidays 🙂
Linda: bye!
Taryn: have a merry christmas! cya
Linda: 🙂

Please feel free to link to this page.

If you have a blog, have transgender friends, or want to post a link to Facebook, that’s all great! If you want to repost it to your site, that’s okay too, but please let me know if you do, so I can properly thank you (and because I just like to know where it went). I’d also appreciate a link back to my site if you do that.

Christmas is a time when suicides are at their highest, with people feeling isolated, alone and unloved. This is especially true of queers, lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transgenders and all the other shades of queerdom, who have among the highest suicide rates. It’s not easy being different. So if you know someone who might benefit from this… well, it’s one gift you can make that won’t cost you much.

If you look at the side menu, you’ll see a link to Transgender Help. You might find my articles on TG Origins and TG Changework also helpful.

While I don’t get as much requests for it, I can also help with shame from being homosexual, lesbian, bisexual, etc. and other fears that arise from being different. I do try to help my fellow queers whenever I can.


If you’re Christian and Queer, here are some additional resources:

  • The Skeptic’s Annotated Bible is a useful and humorous look at the bible, especially when considering some of the more questionable parts of it. You can read the whole section of the bible that contains Deuteronomy 22.5. You’ll notice that while crossdressing is singled out by churches, almost everything else is ignored, like the command to not wear mixed fibers (Deuteronomy 22:11). If you want to know the penalty for wearing polyester-cotton blends, a long list of divine curses starts at Deuteronomy 28:15. Breaking any of the Deuteronomy rules is said to bring about all these curses. Among the highlights are:28:22The LORD shall smite thee with a consumption, and with a fever, and with an inflammation, and with an extreme burning, and with the sword, and with blasting, and with mildew; and they shall pursue thee until thou perish.28:28 The LORD shall smite thee with madness, and blindness, and astonishment of heart:28:53 And thou shalt eat the fruit of thine own body, the flesh of thy sons and of thy daughters… (there’s a few more verses about canibalism and eating your own children).Either all those rules have been replaced by the New Testament and Jesus’ law of love… or we’re all in big trouble! It’s also possible that those commands were written by men, and are not God’s will. I’ll let you make up your mind on that one.